A tiny moment

Author

Artemisia O'bi
June 13, 2023

There are days when our lives and minds are so full of everything that needs to happen. The to-dos for the given day, the goals you want to achieve, those not-critical-but-still-important errands you need to run, and the friend you’re supposed to call back. Oh, and let’s not forget to soak the lentils for tomorrow’s dinner. It can be a lot.

I often hear clients talk about these kinds of days. Or seasons of life that seem to be filled with these kinds of days. For some people, it’s hard even to find time to steep a cup of tea in the evening after the chores are done/kids are in bed/emails are sent. It’s often the case that these clients also have a list of “shoulds” going on inside too. I should meditate more. I should wake up 30 minutes earlier. I should make more time to stretch. I should eat less sugar. I should get more exercise. I get it - sometimes I do this too.

While it’s true that all of these shoulds might be good ideas and healthier habits, it can feel like a heavy weight to have this big list of stuff you’re supposed to be doing that you’re not doing. Actually, I think that maintaining this kind of list inside our minds often ends up contributing to low self-esteem and a wobbly sense of self, mostly because it highlights everything you think you’re not (doing) and takes attention away from all that you are.

With clients who are overwhelmed, and also with myself, I like to suggest experimenting with a tiny moment - a small, 2-5 minute pause to re-focus attention toward something we feel good about. For some people, I recommend getting up to make a cup of tea, and while it steeps, putting their attention on one thing they’re doing well. I don’t just mean sort of thinking about it. I mean truly, seriously focusing all of their attention on that one good thing. For other people, it is nice to incoroporate gentle movment or a particular song in their tiny moment.

In my own life, I’ve recently been keeping a one-ounce dropper bottle of a calming tincture formula made from passionflower, motherwort, and milky oat tops on my desk, which I reach for when I feel myself needing a tiny moment. I chose these herbs because they are each calming in a slightly different way, and they come together to make a nice formula. Passionflower has an affinity for the Heart, Liver, and Lung, and has a special indication for rumination and excessive thinking, as well as heart palpitations and restlessness. Motherwort, as I mentioned last week, has an affinity for Heart, Liver, and Bladder, and is often indicated for stress and anxiety, especially in women. Oats have an affinity for Spleen, Kidney, and Heart, and have a calming effect that can stabilize mood swings, as well as ease nervous tension. The majority of this formula is made of passionflower and motherwort. They both have a cooling energy and a bitter flavor, which is helpful when we have signs and symptoms of heat within, which can arise with anxiety. The oats have a sweet, neutral taste and a warming energy, so the addition of this herb in the formula helps to temper the cooling nature of the other herbs. I take this formula 10-30 drop doses when I need to initiate a tiny moment to calm, reground, and come back into myself.

There are lots of possibilities that open up when we incorporate herbs into our difficult moments. We can plan ahead for these times by having formulas on hand that contain herbs with specific actions that are also energetically appropriate for our individual constitution. This is one of my favorite ways to work with people because it is a way of welcoming and expecting uncomfortable times, rather than setting up an unrealistic expectation that nothing should ever feel bad.

It would be great to know what you do during your tiny moments when you need to pause. I’d love to hear from you - you can leave a comment below or reply directly to this email.

Hope you’re well!

Artemisia

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