Two steps forward

Author

Artemisia O'bi
June 06, 2023

It can be easy to get hung up on the details of our lives or ourselves that make us feel self-conscious. Even in the midst of steps forward toward our goals, we can zero in on the accomplishments we haven’t reached yet, ways that we are missing the mark, elements of our physical appearance we don’t like, or some other characteristic of our lives that seems representative of some inevitable shortcoming within.

I find myself doing this sometimes. Lots of things can be going well in life, but my mind snags on some negative observation and I get stuck there. It’s like attentional velcro. It can ruin a whole day if I let it.

This is how we get down on ourselves, and this pattern of behavior strains our health - physically and mentally.

People use the phrase “two steps forward, one step back” to communicate an experience or feeling of setback that has this negative tinge, as if to say “no matter how much progress I make, I’m still struggling”. I was thinking about how much I do not like this phrase over the weekend as I was parked on the side of a gravel road in the mountains, looking out at the beautiful vastness of rural New Mexico. I had just gotten off the phone with a friend - we were chatting about the way that certain struggles can feel particularly impossible on some days, yet much more manageable on others. I had been feeling the uncomfortable pinch of anxiety nipping at my mind and was discouraged that some of my internal struggles were still with me. I felt the phrase rise up as I was sitting there “two steps forward, one step back” and realized that the negative tone of this saying doesn’t make any sense to me. Even if there is a step back, or a perceived regression, the distance forward is still undeniably twice as far. (I’ve always been a fan of simple math 🙂) Even if there are backward steps from time to time, I’m still pretty happy to be going forward.

The main point here is that our personal narrative is entirely shaped by our perception - the vantage point from which we tell ourselves about our own experiences. I see this come into play all the time in clinical practice. As much as I like to read theory books, historical texts, and empirical papers that inform my approach to herbs, I am also deeply interested in the view each person sees when they look out at their life. What events are big and highlighted? What kinds of details get swept aside? What is their sense of self like? Where is their attention pointed?

Chinese medicine reminds us that our Qi follows our attention, which means that our life force energy goes wherever we point our attention. If we choose to focus our minds on the details we perceive as negative, they will grow. Our energy will flow into them. This is a lesson I learn again and again, sometimes the hard way, when I spend too much time fixating on something out of my control. Maybe you can relate. The bright side is that this attentional focus works for the positive stuff too.

It can be helpful to have a few herbal allies around ease our nerves and calm our emotions, such as tea blends formulated with nervines to calm the Shen (spirit). In this way, herbal medicine is in service to the earnest attempt we make to redirect our attention. Lately, I’ve been keeping a dropper bottle of motherwort tincture in my purse. Motherwort (Leonurus cardiaca) was one of the first herbs I got to know - I was drawn to its capacity to reduce anxiety and its indications for women’s health, and I continue to experience support from this medicine when my outlook darkens. Each person is different, and herbal medicine allows for our choices of herbal support to be highly personalized.

As always, you can respond directly to this email if you’re curious to learn about how herbal medicine can support you at whatever stage of your path you’re currently on. In any case, let’s all try to put a little more care toward celebrating our steps forward.

Warmly,

Artemisia

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